Brendan’s dad died a year ago, and he came on a Star Bear camp last year.

His mum was worried about how he was coping. At the funeral, someone had told Brendan that now he was “the man of the house and would have to look after his Mum and his younger brother".

Brendan had taken this quite literally and had pretty much assumed the role of carer for his brother — even moving himself into his room and checking up on him in his classroom. His younger brother was becoming very reliant on him, and Brendan was missing the company of his own friends.

Once on the Star Bear camp, we made a concerted effort to ensure that each child had their own special mentor and that they were with other children their own age, to ensure they spent some time apart. They were soon enjoying themselves in their own age-appropriate groups.

Star Bear mentors were also able to counsel Brendan to ensure him that the father role was not his to assume. He seemed quite relieved to have this enormous burden lifted from his shoulders especially when he was able to see first hand that his little brother was OK being looked after by others and he allowed himself to have some fun..

Since returning from camp, Brendan has moved out of his brother's room and back to his own room, and he’s joined a sports team.

Brendan’s mum feels that camp was wonderful for both of them as it has made them both much more independent of each other. They have the time to cope in their own way.

About Star Bear and Star Bound

Star Bear is a non-profit, grief support program for the children of South Australia. It has been running since 1999, and under the auspices of Anglicare’s Loss and Grief centre since 2002.

Star Bear is for children aged 5–12, who have suffered the loss of a parent, sibling or carer. It is based on ‘Support, Trust And Respect’ for every child.

The Star Bear program provides children with a weekend camp conducted by trained mentors and carers. The camps are designed to increase children’s understanding of death and the grieving process, appropriate to their age, and give them an opportunity to share their experiences with other children.

Activities at the camp include outdoor activities, a visit from Star Bear and a remembrance ceremony.

The Star Bound program for older children, aged 13–17, has programs specifically for older children.

Camps and other activities are staffed by trained professionals. There is no religious content in the camps, and while Anglicare is a Christian organisation, our services are open to people of all faith traditions and those with none.

Star Bear's Remembering books

“It’s OK to cry. No one is stopping you.”

That’s one of the best pieces of advice from the Star Bear Remembering Books.

There are three books, written by children for children to help them deal honestly with grief.

The Star Bear program received a grant from Community Benefit to produce the books and they have been beautifully put together by Black Sheep Advertising (thanks Andrew Millar and Warwick Gregg) and are available for $6 or $15 the set.

If you'd like to order the books, you can download more information and an order form by clicking here.

If you would like more information about the Star Bear program, please call the Loss and Grief Centre on (08) 8301 4208 or email starbear@anglicare-sa.org.au

If you would like more information about child and adult grief, visit www.grieflink.asn.au